A slow walk towards the door reveals to me how little i desire to leave, but I know I need to. things change and  move forward and we must allow ourselves to mold to who we must become as time passes, our duties, and the fulfillment of long dreamt dreams.
        How is it that we let ourselves think that the future is so distant, as if we are living in an eternal present? I think it is a way that our minds are able to live each second with significance. How, though, to find the balance between letting the past and future be our context and our present be what we focus on the most because it is with what we hold every minute at our reach? The past and future are always a little beyond our reach. Why do we yearn so much for things that are gone and fear so much what is to come?
         We tend to idealize the past in many ways but perhaps it is only because we know it so well and can pick and choose how to see it all. The future we know nothing of except the desires and hopes we project upon it. I think we are afraid that they will not be realized and how that will affect us and how we face our lives.
       In a way we are prisoners of time, but in another- we are set free by it. We are perhaps set free from things that threaten to last too long, problems or pain that threatens to linger, circumstances that threaten not to change. We are prisoners of time in the sense that it carries us forward, away from situations we have grown accustomed to, people we have grown close to and realities that we are attached to and even love. How do we learn to face this dichotomy with strength, or even pleasure?

             Anything could be in the future. As time moves forward we are taken along and sometimes thrust into pain. We know that possibility well and see it happen around us all the time. We are so vulnerable and raw, so reactive to everything and every situation that we face.
             Is it possible that we could focus on a higher reality, the reality of things that aren't susceptible to time or change? There are truths about human nature that never change. Truths about justice, love, friendship and loyalty I believe stay the same.
      Through our values and world-view we see our lives. This affects how our past, present and future affect us. Our reality also has much to do  with how we see things and what we choose to believe and know about the world around us. If how much I love and give affects my happiness, I am sure that when I do so I will find contentment when I engage in this personal feat. Why does this affect my happiness? Because it is a deep set value I have chosen as part of my world-view. I believe that it is more worthwhile than many things in the world. Time cannot affect this part of me. Many parts of who I am can develop, but their very essence will never change. I am who I am. How does this help me in facing the past and future? This particular value reminds me that I can still be who I am even if things around me change. I can only be who i am though, by the strength of God within me. Without him I believe I would falter and fall and change. He is the solid rock I stand upon no matter what winds blow around me. I am firmly founded in him. He is the constant and unchangeable one in this swiftly tilting and turning world we live in. We are so variable apart from him. In my past he is almighty God, in my present, and in my future he is almighty God. Because I have a constant in my life... THE constant one in my life...my fears aren't as big as they would be. This is only because I know that the constant one is good. He is good and loving and forgiving and a source of strength and renewal for those that would seek him. I am who I am because he is who he is.